Satin Memories
by jasey
Summary: Can be read on it's own or as a third to the Velvet Tears/Silken Shadows story line.  When something out of your control occurs and shatters your world, you'd be surprised as to who is there to pick up the pieces.  Rated M for unknown future events. AU


*I own none of these Characters. I am using them without permission.

This can be read as a third in the Velvet Tears/Silken Shadows series or a stand alone. Your choice.

Snape watched the rain fall against the window pane of his study silently. He could hear people in the next room talking quietly, sniffling and comforting each other. Snape drew a deep irritated breath and wished everyone would leave already. People have been invading his house for days and now, Snape only wanted to be alone. Foot steps walked into his study and he glared up at the owners as they fell short near his chair. Snape's irritation melted away as he looked into the heartbroken faces of his daughters. He uncrossed his legs and opened his arms and both girls rushed to him to sit on his lap and cry into his shoulders. Snape gave each daughter a kiss on the temple and rocked them gently side to side. He knew it must look a sight to see to grown witches needing the comfort of their father but Snape didn't care. Truth be told he needed them too.

His eldest daughter Raenilyn sat up on the chair. "Dad have you given any thought about what you want to do?"

Snape arched an eyebrow, "As far as what?"

"Well, do you plan to stay here at the house or would you like to come stay with Time and I for a couple weeks and a couple weeks at Kataya and James' home?"

Snape shook his head, "No, I'm completely content to stay here. Why would I leave?"

Raenilyn wiped her eyes that were so like her mother's Snape's heart felt heavier. "I don't know, just to get a way for a bit. You haven't left the house since mum became ill."

Snape's face fell into a cold mask. "Not true, I left earlier today to escort your mother to the graveyard."

Kataya broke into fresh sobs against her father's black robes and Raenilyn began to silently cry again. Snape mentally slapped himself. He never said the right things to the girls when they were distressed. Hermione usually knew all the right things to say.

A gentle voice suggested, "Girls, why don't you give your Father a few days to adjust and think things through."

Kataya sniffed and looked up at her father-in-law standing solemnly in the door way of the study. Raenilyn wiped her eyes again and nodded in agreement. "Of course, I apologize if I was rushing you Dad."

Kataya wiped her tears away with the handkerchief her father offered her and kissed his cheek in as she stood. "Whatever you want Dad. We should probably be going. Fire call us if you need anything Dad or just stop by."

Raenilyn nodded in agreement. Snape stood and gave each girl a tight hug and nodded in approval as each girl stopped to give Harry Potter a hug and a kiss on their way out. Harry followed the girls out into the living room to begin to clean up and suggest people should leave. Harry knew the former potion's master had reached his limit of having his privacy invaded. Snape and Hermione were married for nearly thirty years; Harry and Snape's step mother Minerva McGonagall were the most frequent guests to the Snape's residence after Dumbledore's death and Harry was under the impression that they were the only guests either tolerated or allowed.

Minerva had already beaten him to the task of beginning to clean up stray cups of pumpkin juice and abandoned plates and tissues; which left Harry to herd the guests out the door as politely as possible. With that task out of the way, Harry began picking up more stray dishes when he noticed Alec sitting on the steps by himself and staring blankly at a family picture he clutched in his hand. Setting the dishes on a nearby table, Harry joined his godson on the steps and didn't say anything. Alec was a younger version of Snape in every form from looks to their cold haughty demeanor. But he was also Hermione's son and Harry knew that despite Alec's blank face he was just as torn apart as his sisters on the inside. After about two minutes, the current potion's master of Hogwarts of Witchcraft and Wizardry's lip began to tremble. Harry just kept staring ahead until the young Snape burst into soul wrenching sobs, clutching the family picture to his chest. Harry laid a comforting hand on his godson's shoulder, and then hugged him as Alec cried his pain out.

The elder Snape exited his study now that everyone had finally gone and happened upon the scene. Snape's face fell from his usual mask to concern until Harry waved him on. Snape nodded in understanding and picked up the pile of dishes Harry had gathered and took them to the kitchen where his step mother was still washing up.

Alec was nearly normal again after ten minutes. Aside from his red eyes, one wouldn't have been able to tell. "Uncle Harry, how is it that you are ok? Don't you miss her at all?"

Harry was surprised by the question, "I miss her terribly, Alec. I loved your mother very much. I'd say that it just hasn't set in. Soon I'll be a horrible emotional train wreck, but for now, you children are my top priority. With two god children and a daughter in law to think about, I've put my grief aside."

"But you will grieve won't you?" Alec asked quietly. He sounded like such an innocent boy rather than the twenty five year old man that Harry's heart ached for the potion's master.

"Allow me to erase any doubt that I am both heartbroken and devastated."

"Do you think my dad is also?" Alec asked so quietly that Harry strained to hear him. Unsure of how to answer the question Harry resorted to stating the facts.

"I think your father is grieving more than all of us put together. Your mother was his greatest love and he was hers. Your father is just a little more complicated than normal people. He didn't just lose the mother of his children, but he lost his wife, his mate, his best friend and confidant. I would venture a guess to say that he is so full of heartache he just doesn't know how to express it."

Alec pondered this and looked at the picture at his hands. He smiled a sad smile and ran an agitated hand through his shoulder length black hair. "I had better see if the Headmistress is ready to return to the school." Alec stood and gave a helping hand to his godfather. Alec stood at least seven inches over Harry but took great comfort in the hug his godfather gave him.

Alec walked toward the kitchen, "Grandmother? Are you ready to return to the school?"

Harry didn't wait to hear her reply. He gathered his own cloak from the closet and prepared to leave. Snape walked his step mother and his son to the door and gave them each a hug. Harry did the same and wished the headmistress and Alec a good evening and waited until they apparated away.

Harry turned to say good bye to Snape and froze. Severus Snape was leaning against the closet door, crying. Harry didn't move a muscle as he didn't know if Snape realized harry hadn't left yet.

Snape drew an agitated hand down his face and wiped the tears away furiously. "How could she do this to me, Potter? How could she just leave me here?" He whispered in that quiet tone that gave one the impression of impending danger.

Harry could sense Snape's raw emotion and was wary of how this conversation could go. Unsure of what to say, he shut the door on the rainy evening and said the only thing that came to mind.

"Severus, she didn't leave you. She died. She didn't have a choice. Had she been given one, I know she would have never ever left. But given the circumstances, she held on as long as she could. She fought a long battle and her body couldn't hold off the disease anymore."

Snape turned and slammed his fist through the closet door. "CANCER! BLOODY CANCER! Muggles can travel to the moon and back in their flying contraptions, transfer the heart of a pig into a human being, but they can't find a cure for the one disease that slowly rots their bodies from the inside out! And neither could I." Snape said dejectedly. He looked down at his hand and started pulling shards of wood out of the skin. "I still don't understand how her magic didn't protect her like it does the rest of the wizarding world."

Harry removed his cloak and withdrew his wand from his sleeve. He performed a couple healing spells on Snape's hand and said, "You couldn't find a cure because as gifted as you are with potions, we don't quite know what it is that causes cancer. It could be anything. We also don't know that magic protects the wizarding world from the disease. It could be a genetic flaw or the slowness of physical aging. You look like you're forty years old and you are just over seventy." Snape remained silent and let his silver streaked hair shroud his face.

Harry put his hand on Snape's shoulder much like he had Alec earlier. "It's not your fault she died Severus. It's no one's fault."

Snape's shoulders heaved and he used his newly healed hand to stifle the sob that escaped his mouth.

"What am I going to do, Harry? Didn't she know how much I needed her?" Snape whispered brokenly.

Harry didn't know what to say so he remained silent. He pulled his former professor into a hug and led him back to the study where he pushed Snape into the chair and lit a fire in the grate. Harry went to the kitchen and made a pot of black tea and pushed a cup into Snape's pale hands. Snape seemed to have recovered a bit.

After watching Snape take a couple swallows of tea, Harry cleared his throat, "I'd offer you some lemon drops, but I seem to be fresh out."

Snape snorted in a cynical sort of amusement. "You are diabolical, Potter."

Snape was glad Potter had stayed with him through two pots of tea, but was just as glad when Potter apparated home with the mention of having him over for brunch on Saturday.

Snape tidied the tea pot and cups into the kitchen and climbed the stairs to his bedroom to turn in for the evening. His head felt as if it was stuffed full of cotton and he was physically and emotionally worn out. He hung his outer robe in the closet and spelled the fire to burn in the grate. He showered, spelled himself dry and put on a pair of sleep pants. He crawled into the bed and expected to fall asleep immediately, however he could only lay there and stare at the nightstand on the other side of the bed. Hermione's wand lay in a book marking her spot next to her reading glasses. An old picture frame that held a creased photo of her and her parents taken while she was in school and a pair of fuzzy socks that she always insisted on wearing to bed, no matter how much her husband had teased her about them. The only thing missing was Hermione. Snape fond himself expecting to see her come out of the bathroom talking about her day at Hogwarts or what the children were up to; but the bathroom door never opened, and Snape laid in their bed alone.

Snape could feel the knot in his chest pull tighter. Snape jumped to his feet and took a blanket from Alec's boyhood bedroom down the hall and decided to sleep in the study.

The two days later, instead of sending an owl to remind Snape about brunch for the following day, Harry decided to stop by and see how the retired potion's master was fairing. Harry knocked on the door with the morning's paper tucked under his arm. Snape opened the door, looking like complete hell. He was in a pair of black sleep pants that he could have been keeping under a rock or just been wearing them since Harry had seen him last and his hair was pulled back in what might have been a pony tail but now was just a mess. Harry nearly dropped the paper. This isn't what he expected from his professor that always seemed to be over dressed rather than under.

"Severus, what the hell?"

"Potter, what do you want? I'm trying to sleep." Snape snapped with irritation that was reminiscent of Hogwarts.

Harry pushed Snape back into the hallway and shut the door behind him. "It's 11:00 in the morning and you are still asleep?"

Snape tried to run his hand through his hair and when he realized he couldn't, he pulled the leather hair tie out with irritation. "No Potter, I'm trying to sleep. Try listening to what I'm saying. Though I think you will have about as much success at that as I am at sleeping."

Harry just stared dumbfounded. "Ok, so you are having sleep issues? Have you slept at all?"

"NO! Weren't you listening?"

Harry raised his eyebrows in surprise but said nothing and followed Snape into the study. The desk that was usually meticulously tidy as stuffed with books, rolls of parchment and crumpled up parchment with some broken quills. The table was cluttered with tea cups and a stale tin of biscuits, the couch had an old Quidditch World Cup blanket and an old pillow. Snape went straight to the couch and stretched out.

"Severus, why aren't you sleeping upstairs?"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Why do you think Potter?"

Harry took a deep tolerant breath. "Ok, well I came by to remind you about brunch tomorrow. But I think you should come see me sooner."

Snape tied his hair back, "What are you on about Potter?"

Harry stood took the dirty tea cups to the kitchen and walked through all the rooms in the Snape residence to make sure fires were out and then upstairs to gather some of Snape's clothes. As Harry was taking one of Snape's black suits out of the closet he took notice of Hermione's bedside table with her wand still marking her place in her book. "No wonder he couldn't sleep he muttered to himself. Shrinking Snape's clothes and putting them in his pocket, Harry snatched up the outer robe Snape wore at the funeral and took it down stairs. Snape was sitting on the couch with his head resting on the back of it and his eyes shut. Harry spelled the fire in the grate away and locked the front door. Snape cracked open a blood shot eye and glared at Harry who stood in the middle of the study waiting patiently.

"What is it now, Potter?"

"I'm waiting on you to move."

"Why?"

"Because you can't stay this way. I'll kill you before the week is out and I don't want to have to explain that to your children."

Snape cracked open the other eye and met Potter's glare of defiance. Snape stood suddenly and muttered something akin to 'Stupid Griffyndors'.

Harry held out the robe and Snape pulled it on with as much dignity as he could muster before taking Potter's offered arm and apparting to the cottage.


End file.
